Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of this step. We tried to carry this message to those that still suffer. And to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Well I was once mad, now I am glad. Yes, glad to be alive.
At times I feel so much joy that it seems like a dream.
Recently I went to 7 funerals in a very short space of time. My Dad, my Brother, my Sponsor, a cousin killed himself, my partner’s Mother, a sponsee who I had sponsored for 10 years died. I was buckling under, the grief; panic attacks started to hit me. I kept thinking, “Feel the grief, don’t try and repress it”. I would not be human if I did not feel grief. Those 7 funerals, on reflection, made me realise that life is to be enjoyed. I would sit and meditate on grief. This, what I see as spiritual awaking, is about to realise that if our happiness depends on what other people say or do, then we are going to be miserable for the rest of our lives. Spiritual awakening is to see that I am the problem, my reactions to life’s events.
Well, today I know my experience had helped people. I have 12 stepped people. One recently celebrated 25 years of sobriety. I pass the message when I can, where I can, to who wants to listen.
My pain has helped other people not to do what I did.
I practice these spiritual principles in every area of my life. Emotionally, sexually, financial, workplace, home, meeting room. I try my best. I tried one time, to try and save the world. My intentions were honourable, but I burnt out. So, today I would sooner do good, than bad. Today I would sooner kiss someone’s feet, rather than fight them!.
I owe my life to David B, the man who 12 stepped me and took me through the steps. (A lovely man, I miss him). He put a lot of effort into passing the 12 steps message, he accepted life, a life’s term, and in doing so, had peace of mind.
I owe so much to my Buddhist teacher, Ajahn Sumedho, whose caring non religious message goes hand in hand with my 12 step path. Today I know what the spiritual path is about. It is not about religion, but about understanding life, understanding people and understanding that the more you want your own way, the more you suffer!.
We all have peace of mind, it may be buried under the dust of defect of character. Blow that dust away and there is your peace of mind. If you are miserable now, then practice opposites. It is as simple as that.
