Sort through, pray and mediation, to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for use and the power to carry that out.
In step 3, we decided to look for a new manager, because we were unhappy, addicted, obsessive etc. We thought, “Well, I tried everything my way, and the result was pain! So, that is where I suppose, humility starts to come into our lives.
Whether you believe in a Christian God, or a Higher power, or just have a belief inwisdom, then this step will work. If your mind is full of neurotic thoughts then they have to be replaced with a belief system, a different attitude. I love the serenity prayer:
I state acceptance, what is acceptance but a way of stopping anger? Remember acceptance does not mean you agree, it means you stop the thoughts in your head spinning around like a washing machine! Your God wants you to be happy right now. The present is a result of the past, and the future will be a result of the present.
If, say, you miss a train, don’t think, “I have to wait another 30 minutes”, think “I had to learn this lesson sooner or later, it is better I learn it now, than putting it off to the future”. If you had to get that train, (you will never know this) but, just maybe you would have fallen over someone’s suitcase, breaking your neck and then being confined to a wheelchair. You will never know that, but it is less strain on the nerves to accept the situation, than blowing your top through IMPATIENCE, and SELF PITY. So if its Gods will for you to be at that station right now, or it is bad luck, take the less painful way out by accepting.
Gods will is for you not to suffer emotionally, it is fair to say that you may have put so much effort into your recovery that you will never have any problems. Well, the 3 ‘D’s will come biting at your ankles. Death, disease and disappointment. This is because you are now on a spiritual path, it does mean that you and your loved ones will never get sick, never die or never ever get disappointed, wrong, very wrong!
Reality has to be looked at and understood. The Power has to come into your life to accept the 3 ‘D’s, to stop fighting the 3 ‘D’s, but to work on that power, that power can be the power of pray, wisdom, faith or shear guts to beat the problem.
Remember, having peace of mind is not having no problems, but living with unsolved problems. Peace of mind, I remember the first time I had a space in between thoughts in my head, it was a spiritual experience. I knew what was on offer, I had never had a quiet mind, it had always been resentful, guilty, fearful or disappointed, and asking why.
To have a mind that is quiet, tranquil, serene, that is your creators design for you! Gods will, your creator has created lovely people, lovely places, it wants you to find them. If you do nothing then nothing will happen! I found that the 8 ‘R’s helped to get on this path to peace and when I slipped off the 8 ‘R’s,it helped me get back on them. They are the keys to a peaceful life.
Right aspiration Wisdom
Right action Morality
Right mindfulness Concentration
There are also 4 ‘T’s, that help me and they are four noble truths.
Truth of suffering
Truth of the cause of suffering
Truth of there is a way out of suffering
Truth of the way out of suffering.
When you look at the 4 ‘T’s it is a fact that every human being suffers from the 3 ‘D’s, that is true, no one escapes them, not the rich, not the poor, not the intelligent, not the illiterate, no one!!!
So, this is where Right Understanding comes in. To understand, not to agree, but to understand suffer when we want life different to what it is, was, or is going to be. We crave, we want to always be happy and to never let life’s realities come our way, or the way of our loved ones! So, this is where right aspiration comes in. Aspiration is another way of saying desire. To know that there is a way out of mental turmoil. If we apply the following, life becomes less of a burden.
When you look at a lovely countryside, hear a bird sing, or feel a lovely breeze, my senses are alive. No more dulling of the emotions today, I feel grief when someone dies, I feel it, I accept it and I get on with my life! I know the feeling of grief never stays. Today, when I feel happy, I also know that that will pass. The cliché “This shall pass” does not only mean that the bad times will leave, it also means that death, disease and disappointment will be our companion. Not one person who has ever been born has escaped the 3 ‘D’s, so don’t expect you will. This is were meditation comes in, seeing reality and nurturing wisdom! Slowing the mind down.
When I meditate I picture myself drinking or using drugs again. I meditate, I watch the scenario unfold in my mind, I see how it can be if I don’t stay on the path. The twelve steps. These are my tools, I reflect on them, I visualize my own death, and I realise that I, like everyone else is not perfect !
I think of the joy my children give me (as I write this I have a 20 year old daughter who has never seen me drunk, aggressive, violent or acting in any selfish type of manner. I also have a 10-year-old daughter who has only ever been loved by me. I learnt from my step 4 and step 5 how I suffered from other people’s actions, so my girls only get love from me).
I like to reflect about my lovely dog, Marlon, who died, aged 18. I cried when he died. I cried in front of my daughter over the loss of my loyal, lovely dog (as I write I am crying thinking of him). I miss him, but not in a self-pitying way, but in a sad way!
Power mentioned in this step. Power to bring peace into my life and to others. That power can be tolerance, gratitude, acceptance, humility, honesty, courage. They are powers greater than my defects